Propagation

July 1, 2020| growth, journey

Enlargement. Extension.

The tendency to place thoughts to paper has long been a way of escape, a world where my vulnerability could hide. Why hide? From my vantage point the display of vulnerability during childhood was an invitation to possible violence (emotional and/or physical) within most environments outside of home. Like many families in my neighborhood, our parents work tirelessly daily to try and maintain, while silently praying for a better way of life for us as children. As a result, we as children internalized their unspoken suffering as an appreciation for sacrifice. Over the decades, the tapestry of my life have shown me that the pull of silence can unweave the most beautiful threads to reveal what must be healed. This unraveling started for me in 2007, my senior year of high school, with my father's first cancer diagnosis, and has resulted in a journey that reminds me daily of God's grace and mercy. So why a blog? Welp, I've fought this idea for as long as I could! Remember that hiding my vulnerability in my words part? Yeah, I was surely committed to continuing to do that, but The Creator has other plans. As I lean forward into a space of refuge, this time it will also serve as a catalyst to allow more love and light to flow from my journey. Perhaps it will inspire others, perhaps it will just sit on this website. The outcome is not the goal, the journey is. There will be poems and prose, and of course my love of music will find its way onto these pages. The structure will be exactly what it needs to be, just as the winds of trial and triumph disperse the seeds needed to propagate the future phases of the journey. Here I am, gliding through the winds by giving up the weight of judgement. The incomparable Nikki Giovanni says it best, "You must be unintimidated by your own thoughts because if you write with someone looking over you shoulder, you'll never write.” My story. My way.