Success and the Death of Personal Identity

March 15, 2021| #whole, blackwomenlead, self love

Where have I been and why haven’t I written in so long? Welp, I’m imperfect and work daily on consistency. Also, COVID is still real so wear your mask! Now - the real reason I’m here to write, is success worth the death of your identity? After recently reading “Twice as Good,” written by Dr. Mary J. Wardell, I am once again left wrestling with identity and leadership. Speaking truthfully, it is sometimes exhausting as a woman of color to know that you are uniquely positioned to ensure narratives of inequity are elevated, while also worrying about the possible personal ramifications. As a black female leader, one of my core values is clarity - a human right (as I see it) that people of color are often the last in organizations to have the fortune of receiving. What does one do when they do not feel empowered to deliver such clarity, or lack it themselves? How do I, as a millennial black woman in the C-Suite of a rapidly scaling nonprofit, make room for multiple truths to enter the room while also precariously maneuvering new relationships? Well, there is always the option of silencing myself, but that is relinquishing my power and denying my responsibility to the collective whole. Conversely, I could choose to speak truth to power with full awareness of how I show up in a space with all facets of my identity. I could show up knowing full well that there is always a risk for black women leaders of personal harm as a result of refusal to assimilate and play small. As Dr. Wardell so eloquently reminds me, I must choose the latter. If I am to consistently deny the lie of Imposter Syndrome and continue to grow into my full self as a leader, I cannot deny what is inherently inside of me. That is a personal death and price I am unwilling to pay. For me, that is a denial of the ancestral fight so many black women before me pursued so that one day I could walk in full power. So, today and each day going forward I choose to be my full self. I continue to choose a personal wellness system that allows me to grow from the experiences of life. As I follow my God-given truth, I will ascend to where I am purposed. I ask you today - is success worth the death of your identity? Yes, it is scary and uncomfortable. Do it scared anyway. Why? Because you are what you need, what your organization needs, and what the world needs. Andre 3000 and Big Boi said it best, “God don’t make no mistakes.”